duckorgethit

Duck or Get Hit

What in the world!

J E Wilson

Okay! Are we the stupidest planet in the galaxy? NASA says no! This may be true since we are to only planet with water and water means life. I have to ask one thing. Just because we can’t flourish in a liquid based acid, why can’t other life forms need it like water? Come-on Earthlings! Space is an ongoing space. If there is a wall at the end then what’s on the other side? Us! Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side? Who’s on the other side other than that chicken?

Here’s a good one! Is there life after death? The only way to find out is to be dead and then if there is not life after death then those who investigate gave the ultimate commitment for science. Who writes what they experienced?

Staying in form of my train of thoughtlessness where is Heaven and who goes to Hell? Do Earthlings really want to spend eternity with sober virgins or partying sluts? If I truly want wings I will drink Red Bull. Most Earthlings will agree that a cocktail, a warm place, and a slut or male prostitute (depends on your sexually preference) fills our dying needs. Do you actually think priests want to go to heaven. They have an itch only Hell can scratch and if they scratched it already they deserve Heaven. When you get to those pearly gates you may see a sign reading “Vacancy.”

Come on people! We are battling pirates, chasing a ghost in Afghanistan, and watching the most powerful nation get crippled because leaders can’t balance a checkbook. Now this stupefies me: I can email or talk on the phone about questionable issues and be taken from my home, deported to a foreign country, and be water-boarded until I admit something. There maybe an agency protecting American freedoms in the name of freedom. As Americans we have to accept the fact that freedom is not free. Our taxes pay for freedom, but they also insure that those running this nation are free to run us into the ground.

What’s making headlines this week? It’s not the almost 5000 troops killed, it’s not America’s crumbling economy, and it’s not about the estimated 2-million unemployed. We are hearing about the three pirates shot to free an American Captain in hostile waters. Americans are shooting Americans, but three pirates hold the American Navy at bay. Sarah Palin, take her out behind the barn and…. Can we toss prisoners out on the street for not paying rent? I say YES! The American Government will toss Americans to the street for not paying taxes, taxes that helps house prisoners. Tax the free out of their homes to help keep prisoners in three meals a day and a roof over their head. GO FIGURE!!!!

Lets name the Presidential dog! I have traveled around Asia and my suggestion is “Supper.” I thought about “Crystal,” but the Presidential kids will be buying it at thee South Gate. “Shit-head is a great name but 98% of the people on Capital Hill respond to that name.

Before sending out this column to prospective employers I will hit on a historical fact. The Lincoln bedroom was not President Lincoln’s bedroom. He actually was in the room for his own autopsy.

My Resume:

Want job running a country.

Specifics: Can screw a nation in days and commit crimes I’ll never be charged for

Qualifications: Fat, drunk, balding, and stupid are my experiences

References: Somebody, somewhere, talk to the hand

Special skills: My face froze all winter, so I am growing a beard this summer

The future smells bad, so why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it!